when it sucks being the little guy

our school district is in the middle of some really big changes.

they made the decision to close 6 elementary schools,

and because of that -

kids are getting shifted.

thankfully,

our school wasn't closed.

we are part of a really wide spread growth spot in our area -

and the schools directly around us are actually already very full.

the problem this causes is that they feel that since they are already moving kids around,

now would be a great time to alleviate the pressure that these 'full' schools are feeling.

so, hearings have been going on for the past month or so -

boundary changes are being determined.

and our area has NEVER been brought up.

until now.

apparently they all of the sudden see our neighborhood as a growth threat.

SO ...

the meeting was thursday night -

and we found out late tuesday night that they plan to shift us.

NOT cool.

i can't even begin to express the emotions that been running rampant through my mind.

i am frustrated.

i am SO sad.

i am angry.

i am disappointed.

i am distracted.

i am nervous.

and

i am just flat out PISSED.

(sorry)

our kids JUST switched schools last year.

they are just now getting settled and feeling as if they have a place they can call theirs.

now this.

SO ...

for the past 2 days it has literally consumed me.

3 families from our small neighborhood are in mexico -

and that left just a few of us to come up with a strategy to present to the school board on why we are not 'the right pick'.

last night was the meeting and i can't even say how it went, really.

i felt good about the fact that i got up and read a letter that i spent the past 2 days writing.

everyone seemed to think that they seemed interested in what i had to say -

and they did ask for a copy of it -

so that gives me hope.

BUT ...

that doesn't calm my heart.

bottom line is ...

i don't want my kids to have to switch schools.

i don't want them to have to transition AGAIN.

i don't want them to have to make new friends AGAIN.

i don't want them to be the only kids in our big development that are bussed halfway across the city!

i don't want to be forced to decide what to do if and when this decision becomes final.

do i pull them from the district - just trying to make a point.

do i sit back and say - my kids are resilient they will do JUST fine

(which is the truth ... i just can't accept it. yet.)

do i enroll them into another school in the district that i think is better -

but then be stuck with driving them everyday???

i just don't know.

there are SO many questions i have.

there are so many things i just don't understand.

it's taking EVERYTHING in me to sit back and be the little guy.

to know that really i am not in control.

and i can't be.

it's taking EVERYTHING in me to try to be still and just trust God.

to know that there is a bigger picture somewhere in this.

and that although i don't get it -

i trust in someone who does.

*sigh*