this morning stacey and i went for my doctors appointment.
as has happened 2 times before ...
we discovered our baby's heart had stopped :(
NOW...
i realize it doesn't happen often ...
but right now i am at a loss for words...
still just processing how i feel ...
i'm feeling frustrated ...
it sucks to be sick for so long and not get a "reward" for it.
AND
it sucks to drag my kids through that time - and for them to not get a baby in return.
i'm feeling sad ...
although we had always said 3 was "our number" ...
we had come to accept the idea of a 4th ...
and were getting excited at how our dynamic would change.
but ...
just when we begin to accept things ...
they change.
unfortunately ...
things happen.
life isn't always fun.
every day offers new challenges
and more reminders of how fragile life really is.
SO...
for today ... i am holding tight to my boys ...
and
maybe tomorrow i'll have more to say:)
as has happened 2 times before ...
we discovered our baby's heart had stopped :(
NOW...
i realize it doesn't happen often ...
but right now i am at a loss for words...
still just processing how i feel ...
i'm feeling frustrated ...
it sucks to be sick for so long and not get a "reward" for it.
AND
it sucks to drag my kids through that time - and for them to not get a baby in return.
i'm feeling sad ...
although we had always said 3 was "our number" ...
we had come to accept the idea of a 4th ...
and were getting excited at how our dynamic would change.
but ...
just when we begin to accept things ...
they change.
unfortunately ...
things happen.
life isn't always fun.
every day offers new challenges
and more reminders of how fragile life really is.
SO...
for today ... i am holding tight to my boys ...
and
maybe tomorrow i'll have more to say:)
16 comments:
Sarah, I'm so very sorry and sad to read that you lost your baby. I will be praying for you and your family as you grieve this difficult loss.
oh sarah, i am so sorry for your loss... i will be praying greatly for you and your family.
much love, jennifer davis
As I said earlier, you are all in our prayers and I am so sorry that this is the way today panned out. It all sucks. You are the third person I know this week to have suffered a loss en utero. Life is so unfair sometimes. Hang in there, keep hugging all your boys, and know that we are all mourning with you.
Sarah,
I'm so sorry to hear about your baby.You and your family will be in my prayers.God bless,
Sonya
sarah, oh my sweet friend, sarah! i'm so sorry. i'm sending you a hug from what feels like a world away wishing that i was there to give it in person. i love you.
Sarah, I am so sorry! You are in our thoughts and prayers.
Sarah, I can't imagine what you are going through, yet I feel your pain. I too wish we were closer to share a hug. You and your family are in our prayers. Take care.
Jenny
Sarah- you and your family are in our prayers
Oh, Sarah...
I am so, so, sorry. My heart is so sad for you, my friend. I will pray for you and your family right now. May God comfort you while you grieve, cry, and mourn the loss of your little one.
Sending you hugs and love...
Sarah,
My stomach is in my throat and the tears are flowing...
I am praying for you and Stacey and the boys. If there is ANYTHING I can do, please let me know.
Hey, Sweetie. So sorry to hear...I can't imagine your disappointment and sadness. You and Stacey and the boys will be in our thoughts and prayers. Hugs from KS...Sarah
I love that you are able to be totally transparent on your blog. You wrote out your feelings quite well. You totally know how I feel and of course you are all in my thoughts and prayers.
All I can say is that it sucks!! Royally- I hope that when we all get to heaven we can ask God a few questions before the party begins and we worship him for holy eternity. For now we just try to accept things that just make no sense at all!!
kelly is right - this totally sucks. it shouldn't happen to anyone once, let alone three times.
i've been praying for lots of peace and comfort for your heart :)
take care - you know i'm just a text away :)
oh Sarah -- I am so, so sorry. I'll be thinking about you.
I don't even know what to say that might try to bring you comfort, although im sure theres nothing I could. My heart goes out to you and the rest of your family. I hope you will feel my prayers wrap around you all during this sad time.
sarah,
so sad to hear this news. praying for you and stacey and the boys. love you much.
lissa
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