seriously ... do it NOW

yesterday, one of the fitness instructors from the Y died as the result of a massive heart attack.

she was my age and had 2 kids.

she was an incredible, fun teacher who made an impact on a LOT of lives!!

their family has been on my heart - and mind - since i heard.

and what i keep going back to is this.

it doesn't matter what kind of shape i am in.

it doesn't matter how old i am.

i am not invincible.

in the blink of an eye - i can, and will, be taken from this world.

and am i ready for that?!

if i left this world today - which after what happened i am seeing REALLY could, and does, happen -

am i satisfied with what i have left people with.

do my kids know how much i love them?

what memories do they have of me that stand out most?

i'm REALLY hoping it's not me impatiently trying to get them out the door!

does stacey know that i love him with every ounce of my being?

or was i too busy picking up ... and getting the laundry caught up to REALLY show him -

and not just tell him.

have i given my all - and made a difference in friendships that will not be the same without me?

i hope so.

i realize these are all very deep thoughts.

and i would like to think that it will be a while before people are faced with life without me

BUT ...

nevertheless, they are the thoughts that are flooding my mind today.

as i laid alex down for his nap i sat and just watched him.

all i could think about was how important NOW really is.

AND

my mind kept going back to those 2 sweet little kids - now without a mommy

i realized that i need to use this as a STRONG (and very sad) reminder

just because i'm 'young'

just because i work out often

just because i MIGHT eat the right things (every now and then)

doesn't change the fact that my NOW could end tomorrow

my NOW could end tonight

tonight COULD be the last night i tuck my kids in to bed.

and i can't change that.

BUT ...

there are things i can change.

that's where my focus needs to be.

this is EXACTLY what i was talking about in my NOW post -

only it's a whole new level!!!

i need to live today

not only because my kids change too quickly

and because my memory will slowly dissipate.

i need to live NOW

because i may not have tomorrow.

and i urge you to do the same.

AND ...

i ask you to please pray for the fandre family.

i wrote this post becaue this is what is on my mind-

BUT this isn't about me.

carter is 8 and lily is 5

their world has just been turned upside down

in a way i can't even fathom.

although i barely know them

i know that surrounding them with prayer is one of the best things we can do!